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How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 20
General Information Subtitles 1 00:00:17,483 --> 00:00:21,253 Kids, about eight months into Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's engagement, 2 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:24,039 there occurred a game-changing emergency. 3 00:00:24,089 --> 00:00:25,524 Van Smoot is available. 4 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,803 Oh, my God! 5 00:00:26,804 --> 00:00:30,358 Van Smoot House was a gorgeous mansion right on the Hudson River. 6 00:00:30,359 --> 00:00:32,886 It had everything Marshall and Lily wanted for their wedding, 7 00:00:32,887 --> 00:00:34,390 but it was never available. 8 00:00:34,391 --> 00:00:36,885 And then, suddenly, it was. 9 00:00:36,886 --> 00:00:39,140 There was a cancellation two months from now. 10 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,510 You want to have our wedding in two months? 11 00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:43,080 No. It's impossible. 12 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,833 It's Van Smoot, Lily. It's the dream! 13 00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:49,003 No, there's just not enough time. There's no way... 14 00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:51,176 Oh! Mini-vomit. 15 00:00:51,353 --> 00:00:53,811 Okay, look, look, look. I know that it's sudden, but check it. 16 00:00:53,811 --> 00:00:57,170 If we don't take this, guess who's on their way with a deposit check. 17 00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:58,866 Todd and Valerie? 18 00:01:00,913 --> 00:01:03,988 When you're planning a wedding, there's always one couple with similar taste 19 00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:06,042 that seems to be one step ahead of you. 20 00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:08,317 Todd and Valerie were that couple. 21 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,900 We got to make a decision. 22 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,995 Todd and Valerie are in motion. 23 00:01:14,853 --> 00:01:16,302 Van Smoot! 24 00:01:16,302 --> 00:01:18,617 Oh! Kids, color! 25 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,225 - Come on, baby. - Come on, come on, come on. 26 00:01:38,661 --> 00:01:40,217 Hello, Marshall. 27 00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:42,205 Lily. 28 00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:43,737 Todd. 29 00:01:44,281 --> 00:01:45,747 Valerie. 30 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,155 Stairs. 31 00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:53,150 I can't believe it. 32 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:55,462 We got Van Smoot House. 33 00:01:55,462 --> 00:01:58,110 It is on. It is on! 34 00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,885 Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan. 35 00:02:01,841 --> 00:02:02,887 - What? - You're a wonder. 36 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,052 Wow! You guys are getting married in two months. 37 00:02:05,052 --> 00:02:06,663 How are you going to get everything done? 38 00:02:06,663 --> 00:02:10,191 Division of labor. Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up. 39 00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:13,216 Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist. 40 00:02:14,493 --> 00:02:17,753 Robin had been mad at me since the night I slightly exaggerated 41 00:02:17,753 --> 00:02:20,415 my not-having-a-girlfriend-ness. 42 00:02:20,421 --> 00:02:23,108 - Was it...? - It was your girlfriend. 43 00:02:23,553 --> 00:02:25,357 You might want to call her back. 44 00:02:26,053 --> 00:02:30,042 Or, actually, Robin, why don't you go to the florist? 45 00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:35,545 And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on... on the invitations. 46 00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:38,717 Wow. That was really awkward, Lil. 47 00:02:40,463 --> 00:02:43,536 And still. It's still really awkward right now. 48 00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:47,738 Hey, what about me? What's my job? What do I get to do? 49 00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,531 Okay, your job is very simple. 50 00:02:49,531 --> 00:02:54,717 At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me. 51 00:02:57,061 --> 00:02:59,026 Lil, you know I can't promise that. 52 00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:05,446 Shh! Shh! 53 00:03:05,673 --> 00:03:08,916 Look how cute she looks. All tuckered out. 54 00:03:10,362 --> 00:03:11,688 Hey, babe. 55 00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:13,763 Hey, little one. 56 00:03:13,763 --> 00:03:15,856 - Hey, Lilypad. - Crap! 57 00:03:15,901 --> 00:03:18,070 Band! We forgot a band! 58 00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:20,990 It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing. 59 00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:23,143 Shh! Shh! Baby, don't worry about it. 60 00:03:23,143 --> 00:03:25,082 I called The 88! 61 00:03:25,082 --> 00:03:26,941 - Who? - The 88. 62 00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,291 They're this awesome band. 63 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,810 They played my law review party. They were found guilty. 64 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,851 On three counts of rocking. 65 00:03:32,851 --> 00:03:35,936 I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great. 66 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:38,681 John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin? 67 00:03:38,681 --> 00:03:41,277 Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin, 68 00:03:41,281 --> 00:03:44,465 who died in 1980, got married two months ago. 69 00:03:44,942 --> 00:03:48,100 Look, I... I can't sign off on a band I've never even seen. 70 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,382 We... we don't even know if they can play our song. 71 00:03:50,382 --> 00:03:52,890 They're... they're going to have to come over here and audition. 72 00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:54,733 Baby, The 88 don't audition. 73 00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:56,905 They're, like, the Wiggles of wedding bands. 74 00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,708 Well, then... I have to say no. 75 00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:03,180 Baby, they're only holding the date until Monday. 76 00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:06,368 Well... well, are they playing anywhere this weekend? 77 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,758 Let me check their Website. 78 00:04:09,912 --> 00:04:11,006 What? 79 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,781 Lily, you're being a wee bit intense about this band thing. 80 00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:15,091 Intense? 81 00:04:15,091 --> 00:04:19,471 I have a wedding to plan in nine weeks for 200 people. 82 00:04:19,471 --> 00:04:24,383 Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consume this coffee table, 83 00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:26,698 I need you to roll with it, okay? 84 00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,087 Wow. 85 00:04:28,612 --> 00:04:32,051 Guys! I just tasted an amazing caterer. 86 00:04:32,051 --> 00:04:33,306 We already have a caterer. 87 00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:35,328 Oh, right. You're getting married. 88 00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:38,105 You see what I did there? Took a... 89 00:04:38,341 --> 00:04:44,252 It looks like The 88 are playing at a high school prom in New Jersey tomorrow. 90 00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:46,682 A prom? Can... can we go to that? 91 00:04:46,682 --> 00:04:49,918 Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch. 92 00:04:50,843 --> 00:04:52,465 Yeah. No, they won't. 93 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,590 Why not? 94 00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,423 'Cause it turns out we're not in high school. 95 00:04:55,423 --> 00:04:57,022 No sweat, we'll just sneak in. 96 00:04:57,022 --> 00:04:59,101 We're not sneaking in to a high school prom. 97 00:04:59,101 --> 00:05:01,123 Yes, we are. It's the only way. 98 00:05:01,123 --> 00:05:04,816 You're getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped. 99 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,661 It's nine weeks till the wedding. 100 00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:09,611 At this point, I'd say yes to just about anything. 101 00:05:09,611 --> 00:05:11,395 - Well... - No, Barney. 102 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:17,795 And so, Aunt Lily had the plan to crash the prom. 103 00:05:17,802 --> 00:05:19,518 - I'll go with you. - Really? 104 00:05:19,521 --> 00:05:21,100 Yeah. I never got to go to my prom. 105 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,835 We always had field hockey nationals in the spring. 106 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,095 Lesbian. 107 00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:28,992 The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian." 108 00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:31,478 No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate. 109 00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:35,530 Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school? 110 00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:38,393 Please, I'm ageless, Scherbotsky just needs a good night's sleep, 111 00:05:38,393 --> 00:05:41,147 and you've got "statutory" written all over your body. 112 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,343 Hey, why don't we all go? 113 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,621 I don't know-- more people might be harder to sneak in. 114 00:05:45,621 --> 00:05:47,907 We don't want to mess things up for Lily. 115 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,700 Yeah, you're right. 116 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,862 Besides, Marshall and I have been planning on having a guy's night out before the wedding. 117 00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:54,292 Why don't we just make it tomorrow night? 118 00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:55,563 Sounds awesome. 119 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,641 We should go out and just get freakin' weird. 120 00:05:57,641 --> 00:05:58,292 Yeah. 121 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:02,133 'Cause, you know, you be a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw. 122 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:03,868 What? 123 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:08,871 Wow. Hey, Thelma, Louise, y'all don't drive off no cliffs now, ya hear? 124 00:06:08,871 --> 00:06:10,418 Lame! 125 00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:14,875 But seriously, leave me a message, and we'll meet up later. 126 00:06:17,872 --> 00:06:19,956 All right, what do you think? 127 00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:21,808 Horrible. 128 00:06:22,313 --> 00:06:24,576 You're gonna make such a great dad. 129 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,040 You look so classy and nice. 130 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,700 You're going to stick out like a sore thumb. 131 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,860 Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, 132 00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:33,358 with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? 133 00:06:33,362 --> 00:06:34,818 They all dress like strippers. 134 00:06:34,823 --> 00:06:37,435 It's go ho or go home. 135 00:06:37,702 --> 00:06:39,392 Well, we have to get in. 136 00:06:39,392 --> 00:06:42,283 I have to see this band, 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday, 137 00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:45,192 'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, and we still don't have... 138 00:06:45,192 --> 00:06:48,673 Shh. Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay? 139 00:06:48,673 --> 00:06:51,620 Right now, you just have to dress like a whore and that's it. 140 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,830 All right. 141 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:56,728 That's the spirit. Now, ladies, slut up! 142 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,072 I never thought this would be a bad thing, 143 00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:04,905 but my wardrobe just isn't slutty enough. 144 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:08,452 I didn't know I still had this. 145 00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:09,843 What? 146 00:07:09,993 --> 00:07:12,977 The dress I wore to my actual prom. 147 00:07:17,773 --> 00:07:21,251 Dude, you are the hottest girl at this prom, 148 00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:25,858 and not like in a corporate, plastic way. Like, truly, truly hot. 149 00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:27,498 Like a hot soul. 150 00:07:28,232 --> 00:07:30,803 Aw, you look great, too, Scooter. 151 00:07:30,803 --> 00:07:32,231 So big news. 152 00:07:32,231 --> 00:07:35,200 I heard from umpire school. I'm in! 153 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,706 Oh, disco! 154 00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:40,601 I am so happy for you. 155 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:44,001 You mean happy for us, right, babe? 156 00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:47,681 Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday. 157 00:07:47,681 --> 00:07:49,092 No, baby. 158 00:07:49,092 --> 00:07:52,268 We're gonna be an umpire someday. 159 00:07:53,762 --> 00:07:58,341 Nice. You ladies look good, but your outfits are missing just one thing. 160 00:07:58,341 --> 00:08:00,390 No, Barney, this is as far as we're going to go. 161 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:01,553 I'm not showing anymore... 162 00:08:01,553 --> 00:08:05,080 Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers. 163 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,826 Aw. Sweet. 164 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,706 Thank you. 165 00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,920 Oh, Robin, are you tearing up? 166 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,423 No. 167 00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:17,428 I've never been to prom before, okay? 168 00:08:17,582 --> 00:08:18,930 We got to go. See ya. 169 00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:20,147 Bye, have fun. 170 00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,605 See you. 171 00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:26,293 They grow up into skanks so fast, don't they, Ted? 172 00:08:26,293 --> 00:08:27,841 So, what, we ready for tonight? 173 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,912 Yeah. Just one thing we got to do first. 174 00:08:29,912 --> 00:08:30,861 Shot of Jim Beam? 175 00:08:30,861 --> 00:08:32,111 - Yeah. - Yes! 176 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,763 And then I promised Lily that we'd stuff 200 wedding invitations. 177 00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:36,616 What?! 178 00:08:36,623 --> 00:08:39,297 I'm sorry, dude, but you saw how stressed out she is. 179 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:42,137 Come on! You've been doing wedding stuff nonstop. Take a break. 180 00:08:42,141 --> 00:08:46,142 Once you're married, if we go out and you get so drunk you throw up, it'll be sad, 181 00:08:46,142 --> 00:08:49,481 but if we do it tonight... it'll be less sad. 182 00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:52,313 Okay, it'll be cool-- I'll tell you what. We'll make a game out of it. 183 00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:55,905 First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize. 184 00:08:55,913 --> 00:08:57,846 Do I look like I'm four? 185 00:08:58,011 --> 00:09:00,236 All right, what kind of prize are we talking? 186 00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:05,210 Wow, a lot more security than when we were kids. 187 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:06,491 Is this gonna work? 188 00:09:06,491 --> 00:09:10,572 Yeah. Look, when I was 17, I used to sneak into clubs all the time. 189 00:09:10,572 --> 00:09:12,703 It's all about confidence. 190 00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:14,077 Follow me. 191 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,983 Whee-hoo! Happy prom, everybody. 192 00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:18,820 Going to prom-- whee-hoo! 193 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,818 - Uh, you're adults. - Okay, bye. 194 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,623 Okay, look, I just need to see the band. 195 00:09:25,623 --> 00:09:27,790 I'm getting married in two months, and... 196 00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:29,830 And you're just finding a band? 197 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,646 Hey, ho, hey! 198 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:36,616 I'm sorry, ma'am. You either need to be a student or the date of a student. 199 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:42,150 Wow. "Ma'am?" Check and mate. 200 00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:44,681 It's cool. Time to activate plan B. 201 00:09:44,681 --> 00:09:47,635 Scherbotsky, how comfortable are you with a crossbow? 202 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,248 Scherbotsky? 203 00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:53,665 Hey, guys. Do you want to take two hot girls to prom? 204 00:09:54,142 --> 00:09:56,185 We don't have that kind of money. 205 00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:57,607 For free. 206 00:09:57,612 --> 00:09:59,172 Oh, hell yeah! 207 00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:01,623 Great. I'm Robin, this is my friend Lily. 208 00:10:01,623 --> 00:10:04,027 - Hi. Shall we? - Sure. 209 00:10:05,152 --> 00:10:08,117 I knew it would happen. This is the dream. 210 00:10:08,812 --> 00:10:10,571 Oh, hey, wait. How's Barney getting in? 211 00:10:10,571 --> 00:10:12,885 Don't worry about me. I'll get in. 212 00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:16,465 Oh... I'll get in. 213 00:10:29,342 --> 00:10:30,133 We're in! 214 00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:31,881 Thank you. We're going to take a break. 215 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,116 Oh, you're kidding me. 216 00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:37,128 Hey, uh, you ladies want something to take the edge off? 217 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:41,077 Yeah, what the hell? It's prom. 218 00:10:45,193 --> 00:10:46,821 That tastes like cough syrup. 219 00:10:46,821 --> 00:10:48,873 Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. 220 00:10:48,873 --> 00:10:51,031 Um, our fake IDs say we're only 20. 221 00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:53,416 We didn't realize it till after we bought them. 222 00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:56,127 Nerds who aren't good at math? 223 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,308 Life's going to be rough, boys. 224 00:11:01,173 --> 00:11:03,123 Hi. Excuse me. 225 00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:06,840 I was wondering if you guys could play "Good Feeling" by the Violent Femmes. 226 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,783 I know it's probably not in your repertoire, but I'm getting married 227 00:11:09,783 --> 00:11:12,411 and my fiancé wants to hire you guys as the band, 228 00:11:12,411 --> 00:11:15,851 but I can't sign off on it until I hear you play "Good Feeling" because that's our song, 229 00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:20,020 and what kind of wedding band would you be if you couldn't play our song, right? Right? 230 00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:24,313 Look, I'm kinda wasted right now, so I didn't understand any of that. 231 00:11:24,313 --> 00:11:27,807 But, uh, if you get us the sheet music, we'll play your song. 232 00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:31,506 So, you buzzing, baby? 233 00:11:31,921 --> 00:11:34,116 My phlegm feels looser. 234 00:11:46,551 --> 00:11:48,128 This is pathetic. 235 00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:52,205 It's guys' night. We should be out in a bar getting in fights. 236 00:11:52,882 --> 00:11:55,053 If I got in a fight, would you have my back? 237 00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:56,666 You know it. 238 00:11:57,781 --> 00:11:59,468 I'd have your back, too. 239 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:01,846 That's cool. 240 00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,607 What, you don't think you'd need my help? 241 00:12:06,071 --> 00:12:08,398 You don't know what I can do. I'm like... 242 00:12:09,181 --> 00:12:10,553 like a berserker. 243 00:12:10,553 --> 00:12:11,885 Okay, Ted. 244 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,162 Hello. 245 00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:16,680 Hey, it's Robin. Um, Lily needs you to download the sheet music 246 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:20,302 for "Good Feeling" and bring it out here, like, now. 247 00:12:20,302 --> 00:12:21,341 Hang on. 248 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:24,435 It's Robin. She wants me to go to prom. 249 00:12:24,963 --> 00:12:26,648 - Can Ted come? - Wait! Don't ask! 250 00:12:26,651 --> 00:12:28,081 That's so lame! 251 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,115 I don't even want to go anyway. 252 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:34,081 Uh, I don't know. Things have been so weird between us. 253 00:12:34,081 --> 00:12:35,757 What'd she say? What'd she say? 254 00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:40,797 He lied and told me he broke up with his girlfriend to try to hook up with me. 255 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:45,175 I mean, I know he apologized for it but it's just, it's not easy to forgive. 256 00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:48,711 Look, if you absolutely must bring Ted, it's, 257 00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:51,091 it's not like I'm going to claw my own eyes out if he comes. 258 00:12:51,091 --> 00:12:52,606 Okay, bye. 259 00:12:53,952 --> 00:12:55,998 She totally wants you to come. 260 00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:02,888 All right, sheet music's on the way. 261 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,785 Are you okay? 262 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:10,333 There's just so much to do for this wedding. My head is swirling. 263 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,453 It's just all moving too fast. 264 00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:17,183 How is it moving too fast? We've been together for two years. 265 00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:22,290 I just... I just don't want everything in my life to be decided already. 266 00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:23,611 What's decided? 267 00:13:23,611 --> 00:13:25,903 I go to umpire school, you go to college. 268 00:13:25,903 --> 00:13:28,023 We move into my dad's house in Staten Island. 269 00:13:28,023 --> 00:13:31,161 We have kids, we grow old together. What's decided? 270 00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,848 It's wide open! 271 00:13:33,711 --> 00:13:39,738 Scooter, when I go off to college, that's the end for us. 272 00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:43,427 You're, you're breaking up with me? 273 00:13:43,432 --> 00:13:45,930 There's still so much I want to do. 274 00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:50,032 I want to travel, live overseas as an artist, 275 00:13:50,032 --> 00:13:52,848 maybe have a lesbian relationship. 276 00:13:53,391 --> 00:13:58,260 Plus, I think I was just dating you 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain. 277 00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:00,165 I can't believe this. 278 00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:03,340 I can change. I can look more like Kurt Cobain. 279 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,415 Please, just don't leave me. 280 00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:07,412 I'm nothing without you, baby. 281 00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:11,603 Please don't put that kind of pressure on me! It's too much! 282 00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:14,313 It's just one dance, God! 283 00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:15,567 What? 284 00:14:15,573 --> 00:14:17,655 Well, we did promise them one dance. 285 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,308 Yeah, sure, okay. 286 00:14:28,013 --> 00:14:31,220 So Andrew, what's your big plan? 287 00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,671 What's life going to be like after tonight? 288 00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:35,811 Well, you know I got it all worked out. 289 00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:39,263 Uh, leave this place in my dust, four awesome years at college, 290 00:14:39,263 --> 00:14:43,566 and then I'll move to Prague or start my own video game company or something. 291 00:14:43,572 --> 00:14:45,563 - No, you won't. - I won't? 292 00:14:45,563 --> 00:14:49,023 No, you won't accomplish anything you set out to. 293 00:14:49,023 --> 00:14:53,061 You'll get a girlfriend the first day of college and you'll give up your independence 294 00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:55,631 and you'll never live abroad and you'll wind up old 295 00:14:55,631 --> 00:14:59,271 before your time wondering "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?" 296 00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:00,433 Whoa. 297 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,827 You really think I'll get a girlfriend? 298 00:15:04,491 --> 00:15:08,478 So, uh, what's the deal here? Am I getting lucky tonight? 299 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,846 Oh, Sean, look, um, 300 00:15:11,853 --> 00:15:15,276 you're a nice guy, but I just don't... 301 00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:19,918 No, you're not getting lucky tonight. 302 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,508 Okay, just be cool. Don't look at me. 303 00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:37,746 Okay. 304 00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,341 How'd you get in here? 305 00:15:39,341 --> 00:15:42,086 What's it to you, giant turtle? 306 00:15:42,473 --> 00:15:44,496 It's me, Barney. 307 00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:47,081 Oh, hey. Where's Lily? 308 00:15:47,081 --> 00:15:48,473 She's in the bathroom. 309 00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:50,613 - Wait here, I should go talk to the band. - All right. 310 00:15:50,613 --> 00:15:51,821 How did you guys get in here? 311 00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:52,922 We just snuck in the back. 312 00:15:52,922 --> 00:15:55,292 You just snu... Are you serious? 313 00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:57,310 I've been trying to get in here all night. 314 00:15:57,310 --> 00:16:02,382 I finally paid a janitor 200 bucks to let me borrow this mascot costume. 315 00:16:02,382 --> 00:16:03,938 But you got in. 316 00:16:04,243 --> 00:16:06,896 Slow and steady won the race. 317 00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:11,990 Hey, bro, have you seen my fiancée Lily? 318 00:16:11,990 --> 00:16:13,401 Your fiancée? 319 00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:16,190 Whoa, tonight she's with me, bro. 320 00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:18,178 Unless you're looking for trouble. 321 00:16:18,192 --> 00:16:21,482 Listen, little buddy, I understand it's prom and the adrenaline's pumping, but... 322 00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,550 No, not tonight. I've waited too long for this. 323 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,951 I finally got a girl and I'm not going to let you take her away from me. 324 00:16:26,951 --> 00:16:28,663 Whoa, whoa. 325 00:16:28,663 --> 00:16:30,332 Look, let's not get carried away. 326 00:16:30,332 --> 00:16:32,375 Yah! Nunchaku! 327 00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,263 I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high school senior. 328 00:16:39,263 --> 00:16:42,456 I can't believe a high school senior unloaded like that on me. 329 00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:47,030 I'm going to ask you something and, um, 330 00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:50,290 maybe it's crazy 'cause you guys are the cutest couple ever. 331 00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:54,045 But, um, are you having second thoughts? 332 00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:57,785 Yeah. 333 00:16:58,093 --> 00:17:00,091 But not about Marshall. 334 00:17:00,091 --> 00:17:01,582 About me. 335 00:17:01,582 --> 00:17:05,925 I just keep thinking about the girl I was ten years ago 336 00:17:05,932 --> 00:17:08,847 and wondering what happened to her. 337 00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:10,776 I don't want to be tied down. 338 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,932 I want to live in France and Spain and Italy 339 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:17,741 and just soak up life and put it on a canvas, 340 00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:22,591 even if it means being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, I don't care. 341 00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,112 I'm going to be a painter. 342 00:17:24,112 --> 00:17:29,668 And I can't do any of that with a, with a boyfriend shackled around my neck, you know? 343 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,132 But anyway, I'm blabbering. 344 00:17:33,132 --> 00:17:35,447 Way to make new friends, Lily. 345 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,777 I'm sorry. What was your name again? 346 00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:40,327 Marshall. 347 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,103 Nice to meet you, Marshall. 348 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,036 Guess we're hallmates. 349 00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,488 Yeah. 350 00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:50,815 It works. 351 00:17:51,073 --> 00:17:53,767 Violent Femmes. I love this song. 352 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,618 Me, too. 353 00:17:58,573 --> 00:18:02,795 I didn't have any of the experiences I set out to. 354 00:18:03,002 --> 00:18:06,460 The travel, the bohemian art life, 355 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,090 my big lesbian experience. 356 00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:11,268 I didn't do any of it. 357 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:15,790 Lily, you're marrying your best friend in the world. 358 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:19,798 I mean, isn't that worth all the other experiences combined? 359 00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:22,267 Yeah. 360 00:18:22,271 --> 00:18:25,890 And look, you can still travel, I mean, you can still paint. 361 00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:29,016 And as far as your lesbian experience... 362 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,966 Happy? 363 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,317 Yeah. 364 00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:37,825 - So field hockey, huh? - Shut up. 365 00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:42,723 Trespassing, assaulting a minor. 366 00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:46,298 This mascot costume you stole cost $5,000. 367 00:18:46,303 --> 00:18:48,462 We can have you guys arrested, you know that? 368 00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,962 Oh, come on-- you're the one who let in a kid with nunchakus. 369 00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:53,692 You call yourself security guards? I was just defending my boy here. 370 00:18:53,692 --> 00:18:54,873 I totally could have taken that kid. 371 00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:56,780 Uh, yeah, and I totally had your back, so... 372 00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:58,013 Well, I don't need it, but thanks. 373 00:18:58,013 --> 00:18:59,452 Uh, yeah, you did, and you're welcome. 374 00:18:59,452 --> 00:19:02,595 No, the kid was totally, like, a white belt and I'm gigantic. 375 00:19:02,843 --> 00:19:06,550 Listen, guys, I'm sorry. Please, I just need to get in there for one more song. 376 00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,177 Absolutely not. 377 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,247 You guys will thank me for this later, okay? 378 00:19:12,921 --> 00:19:17,296 - Listen, Don, Ray, can't we all...? - Hey! 379 00:19:19,372 --> 00:19:22,045 You know, for a turtle, he's surprisingly quick. 380 00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:28,967 This one goes out to that redhead girl and that tall guy. 381 00:19:53,081 --> 00:19:55,535 So how was your first prom? 382 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:56,807 You tell me. 383 00:19:56,813 --> 00:20:00,590 I hated my dress, my date got wasted and puked on me, 384 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:03,988 there was a huge fight and I kissed a girl. 385 00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:06,737 So, basically, it was a prom. 386 00:20:08,212 --> 00:20:10,157 Okay, I've missed you. 387 00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:13,077 Not in a we're-going-to-make-out way, 388 00:20:13,173 --> 00:20:16,185 not even in an I-forgive-you way. 389 00:20:16,553 --> 00:20:19,037 Just in a I've-missed-you way. 390 00:20:19,941 --> 00:20:21,808 I'll take what I can get. 391 00:20:24,342 --> 00:20:27,520 And that, my friends, is why you don't get your money's worth 392 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,326 when you wear jeans to a strip club. 393 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:36,790 So you got to admit, The 88 are rocking our song. 394 00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:38,875 Yeah, it's good. 395 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,745 Band? Check. 396 00:20:42,462 --> 00:20:44,267 Two months, baby. 397 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,215 Two months. 398 00:20:47,361 --> 00:20:49,047 Two months.